me and my sad lame life. heh.

I think I caught the BB.
No Ber I didn't miss out the 'C' in BBC.
I just caught the blog-bug.

Second post for the day hahahaha.

I just finished the horrible Manufacturing essay.
Been stuck at it for the past 5 days and 3 days past the schedule I was so going to keep to (key word here is 'was').
But at least I still finished it huh :D

I wasn't so pissed off doing it today (although I DID take 4 hours to do my final touches).
I was using the internet to polish up my essay on manufacturing processes and I suddenly realized that manufacturing engineering is a very important part of life (as is every sector of the economy right?).
Okay I'm talking rubbish.

But I think manufacturing engineers are never going to run out of jobs.
Too bad I'm not going to be one.
Ah well.

Such pointless ramblings.
Heeheeheeheehee.

So I finished my essay and a friend said he was down and asked me for coffee tonight and I said I'm going.

And here's my conversation with Robert:-
R: So why're you going out for coffee with this friend.
F: Finish essay and I'm very proud of myself... and my friend's not feeling so good.
R: Are you a counsellor?
F: NO!! This friend of mine is a sadist. He irritates the crap out of me and finds joy in it because I'm apparently 'cute' when I'm annoyed. So I'm just going out with him to sit there and be irritated so that he feels better.

Then I realized what a sad life I live.
WAHAHAHAHAHAHa

Oh well, for my sadist friend, anything goes.
Right dude?
*grin*

+ Flisha spoke @ 9:21 pm

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I'm growing wings

Somebody said a simple sentence and made me realize how loved I am.
And I thank her for letting me see that.

Allow me to boast -
I'm so loved....

Lalala...

*cloud nine*

*flutters off*

+ Flisha spoke @ 2:23 pm

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'Super Trouper'

I finally saw Mamma Mia!!
The first CD we ever owned was one of the songs by 'Abba'.
My dad bought that together with our very first CD player.
Love the music, love the style...
Hey I grew up with it!

Then I saw Mamma Mia!!
It's like watching a movie live on the set!!
With amazing music!!
Beautiful stuff *grin grin*
Brought new meaning to the songs of 'Abba'.
Kinda put it all into perspective.

Which was great.
Yes yes, everybody go watch Mamma Mia.

So yes....
'Thank you for the music'.

Thank you for the music....

+ Flisha spoke @ 11:29 pm

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I added new photos
And new links :D

Go figure...

+ Flisha spoke @ 1:43 pm

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I am going to scold the lecturer right after I publish this entry

Hey dudes...

I'm so frustrated I just want to scream!!!

I know this is lame, but I've been buried under a hell lot of schoolwork...

Yeah... SCHOOLWORK!!
I'VE GOT SO MUCH SCHOOLWORK I CAN'T EVEN THINK PROPERLY.
AND WHEN I'M TRYING DAMN HARD TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING, I'M THINKING ABOUT THE NEXT I HAVE TO DO.
SO AS OF 10MINUTES AGO, I HAD 7 ASSIGNMENTS ON HAND.
I JUST DROPPED BY A SUBJECT WEBPAGE AND I SAW THAT I HAVE TO HAND IN THIS WELDING ASSIGNMENT.

Let me scream about the welding story. I went for my welding prac and the demonstrator declared 'this lab does not require you to had in a report', and that's all well and good.
Sounds like previous years when nobody did any report for this lab.
Lecturer does not say anything about welding prac and reports.
And when I dropped by this subject webpage 10minute ago, I find that there IS a welding assignment to be done. Account for several different kinds of methods of welding... or something along those lines. Don't even have the brainpower to read the whole page of assignment description... and it's due 3 weeks after the student does the prac.

*jeng jeng jeng*
Pregnant pause.
Flip flip flip through the organiser.
The horror sinks in...
!!!!!!!!
THREE WEEKS AFTER MY PRAC IS TOMORROW!!!

SO THAT MAKES IT 8 ASSIGNMENTS.
AND I HAVE ANOTHER PRAC TOMORROW.
ONCE I DO THAT IT'S ONE MORE ASSIGNMENT TO BE HANDED IT.
9.
nine.
NINE!!!

That's it, I've officially lost it.

+ Flisha spoke @ 1:18 pm

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And on Death

'Do not be afraid'
...........................
And finally, 'I have looked for you. Now you have come to me. And I thank you.'

I can't get those words out of my head.

And I can't decide which death is worse -
One amazing priest whose touched the lives of billions...
Or 9 soldiers dying on a dodgy helicoptor crash WHILE saving the lives of hundreds of other people who are in so much more need than most of those who mourn the priest.

+ Flisha spoke @ 9:25 pm

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On school and on Camp

Ok I haven't been blogging huh.
Let me make it up by telling you some of my thoughts:-

If being busy is a valid excuse, that's exactly what I've been. The amount of schoolwork these days is overwhelming, to say the least.

I've seen a lot of things in schoolwork I haven't had to see before. Mind you I'm not talking about new engineering skills I've picked up ('cos I haven't picked up anything).

I saw (and still see) my peers move on - to new academic goals, social groups, project groups...
And I also see others left behind - excluded, bitched about... left behind.

I realized how people deal with change.
They move on themselves. That's what I've been doing - I made new friends, new goals, new project partners.
I try as much as I can not to exclude and bitch.
But of course by saying that I TRY not to, I mean to say that I still do, to that minimal extent.

Easter Camp is the other big thing that had been going on.
Planning camp was one big drama in itself.
I've forgotten my exact feelings at the instants of the drama, but I haven't forgotten what I've taken out of it.
I learned too much about myself.
1. I gave up too easily.
2. I need to be reminded more often that I need strength from God to do so many things.

Camp was good.

'Master, where do you live?', we asked.
'Come and see', He said.
I went and I saw.

The 40 of us collectively realized that God lived everwhere.
He was in the Spirit that moved among us, to every individual at camp, to the plants and animals that made the difference to the setting of the campsite, all the way to the beautiful weather we were blessed with throughout the duration of camp.
Everything went smoothly.
There were no major mishaps...

Camp for me was majorly thought provoking.
Before I wrote this, my thoughts were private and I thought I only wanted to share it with a small bunch of people. But as I thought through them, I figured that not sharing it would almost be a contradiction.

Because
Firstly: I find it so hard to get have a personal relationship with people these days, because I have been living in such denial that I don't even admit to myself what I truly think and feel. I choose not to think about the things that really matter and when people ask me if I'm okay, I force a smile, assure them that I'm fine, and in the process convince myself that everything is all good.

Because of this,
I learned secondly, that: I have no idea who I really am. Don't know what I want, why I want the things I think I want, why I do what I do... I have come to the conclusion that we're happier people when we are in touch with ourselves.

I also found out that
Thirdly: I need to be less self centered. Need to be more aware of the people around me. After all what is a relationship if it's not personal...?

But on the topic of people around me,
The fourth thing I realized is that: I know I should, but I would be lying if I said that I do care about the people I don't know.
I sympathise with the people who are devastated by the recent tsunami and earthquakes. I can see how hard the lives of street-people can get without a roof over their heads. I feel sad for people who're just left behind by the rest of the world.

That all said, I can't bring myself to really care. My heart is probably just too small. I can't understand what they have to go through - can only imagine...
And after all that imagination, all that comes out of with would be just lame understatements, if they were correct at all.

So I should just start small.
The fifth thing I learned is that: I have made the decision to develop a relationship with the immediate people who matter.

So while camp brought me to see the places God lives, it has also led me to discover the dusty corners of the home He made in my heart.
Through camp I've found the grace to clean them up.

So the God living in all of you, please help me.

And now I shall get back to the 6 assignments I have on hand.

+ Flisha spoke @ 9:01 pm

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